The Letter
by UnheardSalvation
Summary: "Tomorrow, I'll tell him for sure..." He love him. But will he ever love him back?
1. Chapter 1

_**Thanks for the reviews in "Good enough"~~~~~ **_

_**Guest : I'm sorry but that fic ended after Neah die... I'M SORRY! **_

_**Well, enjoy this fic~~~**_

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

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_**The Letter**_

I saw him again. He was looking as beautiful as always. His cobalt blue eyes seem to scream nothing but perfectness. It amazed me, how beautiful a human can be. I hid behind a pillar, staring at him from far. I wanted to tell him my feelings, but I'm afraid.

What if, he'll hate me?

What if, I disgust he?

I swallowed thickly. My hands clutched at the letter in my hand tightly. _Tomorrow..._ I told myself again.

How many times have I repeated this?

_Tomorrow... I'll tell him for sure..._

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My eyes widen as I registered what my master told me.

"...What..."

I was so... so... I did not know what I felt that time. Was is sadness? Was it anger? Was it despair?

"You heard me right. We. Are. Moving. Out."

Those four words repeated without any sense of pity. I swore I could feel my heart shattered into millions of pieces.

"But- But why?"

"WE ARE MOVING OUT AND THAT'S FINAL! I'M SICK OF LOOKING AT YOUR DREAMY FACE WHEN YOU STARE AT THE NEXT DOOR SAMURAI GUY!"

"But I don't want to leave!" I was panicking, I knew it well.

"I still need to attend classes! I- I still have to work!" I tried to reason with my master, silently hoping that he will just abandon the thought of leaving this place. I don't want to leave this place! _I don't want to leave Kanda._

"Either you stay here yourself and get hunt by the incoming debt collectors, or you leave with me. NOW. I've rank up more debts by the way. And I _accidentally_ let it slip about your little crush on that _certain _samurai. So, choose. brat. Create troubles to _him _by staying here, or leave with me?"

The argument was invalid.

He knew me too well.

_He knew what I'll choose._

That night, I spend the whole night crying. My tears flowed down my cheeks, staining them wet. My eyes were getting heavier the longer I cried. But I don't want to sleep! If I sleep, tomorrow will come earlier. No! I don't want that!

_I can't sleep now. I can't sleep now..._

After tonight, I can never see Kanda anymore. What will his life be, I wonder? Maybe getting a job he love, a life mate he deserves, everything he wants?

I smiled, although I could feel the tears poured down more.

His life was always better than mine. Who am I to worry about his future?

_Who am I to question this life I'm living?_

Finally giving into the need of sleeping, I closed my eyes slowly, trying my best to let my body relax.

_Goodbye, Kanda Yuu_

A letter was left forgotten on the study table.

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"Welcome to the academy, Allen Walker!"

I smiled to all my new friends. It have been 2 years after I left that place. I missed him. Sometimes, I'll even stare into space for the whole day, thinking of him.

I'll admit, life have been better since I left. I did not know why master stopped his gambling and womanising attitude all of a sudden. He even have a proper job now. I was kind of surprise of his change in attitude but I did not dare to question him. Life was way better than back then. _Did Master finally get sick of being chased by debt collectors? _I shrugged inwardly. I continue staring at the blue sky outside the window.

"Allen! Guess what, guess what!"

"Erm... You finally lose your brain and now you're finding it?"

"Yea- What? NO! YOU ARE SO MEAN TO ME, ALLEN!" Lavi wailed.

"That's what you get for disturbing his day dreaming. He might be dreaming of his prince charming, right Allen-kun?" Leenalee appeared beside Lavi and pulled out a nearby chair, sitting herself down.

I blushed madly. Leenalee is the one who found out my sexuality and told the whole world. Thanks to that, I even have my own fan club in school. I did not know how she knew, but according to Lavi, it was all because of something called... Yam..? Yaoi? Yum? When I asked Lavi for the meaning, he just snickered and told me, "Allen, my pure little brother, it's something you should NOT know in your age."

"Really, Allen buddy? So who's the lucky girl/guy?" Lavi chirped in, his eyes sparkling.

"I..." Should I tell them about Kanda?

"Yeah?" Leenalee and Lavi exclaimed together, their ears getting closer to my mouth so that nothing could escape their ears.

"I..."

_RING!_

It was a call from master. Quickly excusing myself, I walked out of the classroom and answered the call.

"Speaking."

"Brat, I have some friends coming over so you BEHAVE."

Wow, master have... friends... I was kind of shocked.

"Okay, need me to buy anythin-"

"Hell yeah. Some bottles of expensive wines sound great."

And the call ended.

_Okay, maybe lady luck is not on my side today... _I convinced myself.

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"I'm home."

"Where are the wines?"

I handed the wines to master and greeted our visitors.

It was then I felt my heart stop beating for a while.

_He_ was there, scowling at everything he sees. His cobalt eyes were sharper than back then, bringing out the matureness in him. His long silky ebony hair neatly tied into a high ponytail, giving him an image of an ancient samurai.

"What are you looking at, moyashi?" His stern voice snapped me back into the reality.

I quickly look away and went to my room straight.

_Kanda is here! Kanda is here!_

I was so happy, I kept smiling to myself that night. Sometimes, a giggle or two will escape from my mouth.

_Maybe today is not that bad after all._

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"...Say what?"

"I hate repeating myself idiot brat."

"So you mean, Tiedoll-san and his family will stay here? Until they think of moving out?"

My heart was blooming flowers.

"Yes. That damn Tiedoll better be grateful to me..." My master muttered.

_Yes, at last!_

_This time, surely, I will tell him how I feel._

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Everything was turning perfect.

Every single thing.

"MOYASHI, WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP EARLIER?!"

"WELL, SORRY THAT I'M _AFRAID_ OF YOU KICKING ME OUT OF YOUR ROOM AGAIN!" I yelled back.

Er... Aside from the fighting part, of course.

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"Happy birthday, moyashi. Tiedoll forced me to buy this... DON'T YOU DARE THINK I'LL DO THIS AGAIN!"

"Wipe off that stupid smile on your face. You look fake."

"Make me extra serving of soba for tomorrow's bento. I'm staying back"

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Kanda was opening up to me. Sometimes, he'll even blame Tiedoll-san when he did something nice to me. It made my heart fluttered. I'm glad that he think of me as one of his... his... friend, I guess?

_Does that mean he might return my feelings? _

"Moyashi, stop giggling like you're on drugs!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, MY NAME IS ALLEN!"

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I thought I stand a chance now, as he accepted me in his life.

But I guess homosexual never have a good ending.

"I asked Alma out. She said yes." He was beaming, I could feel it.

"...Congrats. I'm happy for you..." That's not true. I'm not happy. At all.

"Ah, my Yuu-kun is finally in love!" Tiedoll started wiping his tears away.

Everyone was proud of Kanda. Even master was amazed with him.

Alma was the most beautiful girl in the neighbourhood. She's smart, talented, graceful... She has everything that men will all die to have her as their wife. And now, Kanda managed to ask her out. It was indeed, something worth celebrating.

Yes, it's worth celebrating.

It's a happy celebration, right?

I can't cry now.

Not now.

I can't.

_Even though I can feel my heart aching in such agonizing pain._

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I held the letter in my hands.

Its useless now, isn't it?

The letter that contains nothing but my love for _him._

Its not worth a single penny now.

However, I can't find the strength to throw it away.

It felt like I'm gouging my heart out and throw it away to a faraway place.

I folded the letter into a piece of paper as small as a ring box and placed them inside my pocket.

I'll throw it away later, I told myself.

All of a sudden, I felt a dizzy spell hit me hard. I held on a nearest pole and lean my body to it, trying to balance myself.

It was getting frequent, the symptoms.

I started coughing. I placed my hand to my mouth, and I saw red.

There were blood on my hand.

I should be panicking, but I'm not.

Was it because I don't care anymore?

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_"Mr Walker, I'm sorry. This is an unknown disease. We can't help you."_

_"...What...?"_

_"We are really sorry."_

_"..." _

I was scared.

_"...How long do I still have?"_

_"1 month, latest."_

I was scared that Kanda will reject me if he know I'm dying soon.

_But he might love me more if he knows I'll die soon._

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One sentence.

That was all it took, to take all my will power away.

_"I asked Alma out. She said yes."_

A simple sentence.

A simple sentence that take away my only hope.

A simple sentence that snatched my future, my happiness away.

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_"Mr Walker, if you happen to cough out blood, call for medical attention immediately. We might extend your life a little longer if we reach in time."_

_._

Does it even matter now?

I smiled bitterly to myself. I am now sliding down the pole, my back leaning against the cold pole. I feel tired. Really, really tired.

I closed my eyes, trying to enjoy the last sensation of being alive.

"Kanda..."

I can feel more blood pouring out from my mouth.

Everything is getting blurry.

So blurry-

"Allen!"

_It sounds so much like Kanda's..._

I raise my head slightly but my vision is failing me.

Is that you, Kanda?

"Oi! Wake up! Wake..."

I can't hear a thing anymore.

So this is what it feels like to die, huh?

_"Wipe off that stupid smile on your face. You look fake."_

Kanda...

"...Aishiteru, Kanda...Yuu..."

I surrendered to the darkness._  
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_Ah, I haven't give him the letter... _

_No. It doesn't matter now._

_Good night, everyone._

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_**A/N : Thanks a lot for reading~~~~ hope you enjoy this~ I wondering, should I write a Kanda's POV? Please R&R~**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thanks a lot for the reviews and favourites and followers~!**_

_**selastia**_

_**VC-0513 = There you go~!**_

_**ZDrive = Here you go~!**_

_**Disclaimer : I don't own -Man**_

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_**The Letter**_

_**Kanda's POV**_

He could feel the stares _again._

Flickering his eyes open, he scanned around, looking for the one stalking him. Then he saw it. A boy with silver hair was hiding behind a pillar as he stared at him. The boy was holding something in his gloved hand. _Is that a letter? _He saw the boy tighten his grip on the letter for a second before sighing out a defeated sigh, leaving that place.

He realised, it was the same boy from yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and the day before...

_What was he doing, hiding behind the pillars?_

The boy came everyday. But, he never walked up to Kanda.

He just stood behind the pillar and stared, his hand holding tight onto a letter.

Eventually, Kanda got used to his presence and find his company pleasing.

Until one day, the boy just stopped coming.

Kanda was worried for him.

What if something bad happened to the boy?

He was dead worry. But what could he do?

He never know the boy in the first place.

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He was pissed.

What the hell did they mean by "We are moving out of here"?

Black aura started forming behind him as he glared at every member of his _family_.

"Well, let's think of it this way, Kanda. The old man wants to paint something _different _from what he drew here, something about inspiration or something-"

"That doesn't mean _I _need to move out with him."

"We _all_ have to move out with him, Kanda. Stop being immature. Look, even Marie and I agreed to this!" Daisya stated before entering his room to pack all his belongings.

He groaned.

_This is the worst day of my life._

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Apparently, Tiedoll found an old friend of his, which just so happen to be his neighbour once, and asked him if he and his family could stay over.

The man, Cross, on the other side did not seem to recognise any of them except Tiedoll.

It was weird. Kanda swore he saw Cross sending deathly glares to him through their windows back then when they were neighbours. It was as if Cross was blaming Kanda on something. Just when he wanted to ask Cross about back then, the door opened, revealing a mop of white hair.

_Wait. White hair?_

"I'm home."

_._

_The boy came everyday. But, he never walked up to Kanda._

_He just stood behind the pillar and stared, his hand holding tight onto a letter._

_._

It was the boy back then!

He was shocked, but he kept his face neutral.

_That explains why he stopped appearing after Cross move out..._

"Where are the wines?"

He saw the boy walked towards Cross, handing Cross the wines and greeting them.

He saw the boy's eyes widen as the boy saw him.

"What are you looking at, moyashi?" He did not know why he said that, he just did.

He saw the boy flinched slightly and went up the stairs in a fleeing motion.

_I'm going to live with someone like this? Fan-fucking-tastic._

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Something was wrong.

Really, really wrong.

He was starting to enjoy a certain vegetable's company!

It was just... wrong.

Yep, that's the word :

Wrong.

He fought with Allen_, _countless time.

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_"MOYASHI, WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP EARLIER?!"_

_"WELL, SORRY THAT I'M AFRAID OF YOU KICKING ME OUT OF YOUR ROOM AGAIN!"_

_._

__Yet, everytime they fought, Kanda felt that he was getting closer to Allen.

And the worst thing was,

He like the feeling of getting closer to Allen Walker.

He then knew that he fell in love with Allen Walker after he described his situation to his best friend, Alma.

Alma was so happy for him and was glad to know that the cold-hearted Yuu-kun (as she named it) had fall in love.

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"Go buy a gift for him!"

"Tell him what you're thinking from time to time!"

"Never hide anything from him!"

Those were all suggested by Alma to get Allen fall in love with him.

It sounded ridiculous, yet Allen seem to like it.

Sometimes, Allen will even giggle to himself when he thought no one was looking.

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_"Moyashi, stop giggling like you're on drugs!"_

_"FOR THE LAST TIME, MY NAME IS ALLEN!"_

_._

It was the best highlights of his life.

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He felt insecure.

What if, Allen was just treating him as a best friend?

What if, Allen had a lover already?

Those horrible thoughts were eating him from the inside.

"Try making him jealous...?" Alma answered him with a unsure posture when he asked her what to do.

That was it.

If Allen gets jealous, that means Allen like him back.

He smiled to himself inwardly.

_Just you wait, Allen Walker. You're mine._

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"I asked Alma out. She said yes."

How did he came out with that, he did not remember. All he wanted was to make Allen jealous. He even made himself looked a little happy than usual when he said it.

_Now, get jealous Allen Walker. _

He was so full of himself. Somehow, he had a feeling Allen was indeed, feeling jealous of Alma.

But what Allen said shocked him to the core.

"Congrats. I'm happy for you."

He could felt his heart tear into shreds.

_Does that mean Allen does not like me?_

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"Damn!"

Kanda was running around, trying to find Allen.

That idiot had been missing after Kanda declared that he successfully asked Alma out. He cursed himself mentally for not noticing Allen's absence earlier. He stole a glance at his watch.

It was almost 12.

He had been out searching for Allen for 3 hours! He was panicking. Why couldn't he find Allen? Was Allen avoiding him?

He had told Alma what happened and Alma almost slapped him for that.

"Who the hell told their crush a lie about 'I successfully asked someone out' just to see if they get jealous or not?!"

Alma was mad.

So was he.

He only figured out how stupid he was after Allen's missing.

He continued his search.

It was 1 am.

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He found him.

But the condition of his crush was sickening.

Allen was leaning against a pole, as blood trickling down at the corner of his mouth. The pole was glowing dimly, giving out a natural feeling of horror. He saw Allen stared into space, a bitter smile was painted on his pale face.

It almost looked like Allen was welcoming his death.

He saw Allen said something, but more blood flow out from his mouth.

"Allen!" He shouted to Allen, silently hoping that Allen would hear him.

He ran to Allen's side and held him tight.

"Oi! Wake up! Wake up, damn it! It was a lie! I didn't ask Alma out! Don't you dare die on me!"

He saw Allen's tired eyes staring at him and was giving him a serene smile.

"...Aishiteru, Kanda...Yuu..."

The once lively pair of grey eyes turned dull. He felt that Allen's body was becoming heavier and heavier as time passed.

_No way no way no way no way-_

He lifted his shaking fingers, and placed them below Allen's nose.

There were no inhalation nor exhalation.

"ALLEN!"

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"It was a close call. If you sent him to the hospital a second later, he would be dead."

Everyone was shocked when they heard of what happened to Allen.

_Allen was... dying?_

Kanda tighten his hold on a letter as he let the information sinks in.

The letter that was never sent by Allen, he had it in his hand.

It was then he realised,

Allen was in love with him since the very beginning.

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"Yuu-kun, you really need to rest-"

"Leave me alone."

"We'll take care of Allen, Kanda. Just go and-"

"I said. Leave. Me. Alone!"

Kanda never leave Allen's side since then.

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_"Mr. Kanda, We can't guarantee that he'll wake up. Just give up. It's been two months."_

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Everyone was giving up. But he won't. He'll stay by Allen's side until Allen wakes up.

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"A fire! There's a fire!"

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He tried carrying Allen's motionless body out of the fire but he was hit by a fallen wooden cupboard in the process. Even so, he held Allen tight in his hold, not willing to let go until he breathed his last breath.

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_I love you, Allen Walker._

_If time can be reversed,_

_I will not hesitate to tell you my feelings in the beginning._

_If time can be reversed,_

_I shall love you with all my might._

_If only..._

_..._

_..._

_.._

_._

_We can continue our love in the next life..._

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"Yuu-chan! Is it real that you and moyashi-chan is dating?"

Allen was as red as a ripe tomato while Kanda started chasing after Lavi.

"Ha! Its true! You owe me 50 bucks, Leenalee! Allen and Kanda are sitting under a tree~ K~I~S~S~I~N-"

"Fucking shut the hell up, you baka usagi!"

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_People dies. _

_But real love is forever _

_-Even In Death, Evanescence-_

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**_A/n : And~~~~ It's completed! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter~~! This is the last chapter of this story btw..._**


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